So yesterday I had yet another job interview. This one was for a beer distribution company. Sounds like a good time, right? First off, let it be known that I just do not interview well. I don't. I always have the objective in the forefront of my thoughts.
Get job. Need duckets. I like ducks.
Anyway, I check in at the front desk and begin the wait to be seen. Finally this lady walks out and introduces herself as do I and into the office we went. All of the sudden she pushed me onto the desk and began to loosen my belt with her teeth and...wait, that's not what happened. This would have been a fantastic direction for the whole deal to go in, but it most certainly did not. When I first walked into her office, it looked like Tony Robbins puked all over the place. The walls had at least 10 of those screwed up pictures with a mountain range in the background with a caption like Success: Anticipate the power of your inner-self. The desk held an assortment of weird-o-rama yuppie Voodoo trinkets. And as I spoke with her I realized Mr. Robbins may have even wiped her natural mind clean like George Bush's head passing through a metal detector. There's a thoroughly underdeveloped joke for you. What I mean is on one side you have her, the positive mental mechanic operating under the Laws of Optimum Success or whatever and on the other, a neurotic broke drummer who would much rather be at the Blind Pig having a PBR than dealing with this monstrosity. At one point during the interview, I swear this is true, she said "Ok, now it's your turn. Go ahead and ask me something. It can be anything at all." By this time I knew I wasn't going to get the job so my first inclination was to ask her if she wanted to make out. But I didn't. Instead I reluctantly replied, "So. Do you like cheese?" I smiled and received absolutely no feedback, got up from my chair and felt like hitting the big rewind button that would send be flippity-floppitying backwards through the front door. zip zip zip. Somehow I was outside by my car literally 30 seconds post cheese comment. That's the way I roll.

This is just too damn funny.
And so is this one.