What the hell is going on today? I've been plagued by the well known in my world 'If The Morning Doesn't Run Smoothly, Then There Goes My Entire Day' scenario. It happens to be consistently intertwined with The Law Of Minor Disasters Domino Effect, which by the way is absolutely unavoidable regardless of the degree of proactivity once the first 'domino' has fallen, obviously. The third customer of the day at SB more or less walked over to the first domino and kicked the fucker over, got his 17 coffees, and walked out the door leaving approximately 30 people in line behind him beaming eyes of 'what is taking so long?' at the TWO of us. Not the four we're supposed to have on a Friday morning. As expected, my morning has followed TLOMDDE. The preceding information clearly states why I'm sitting here in the office, 15 minutes late, with dead batteries in my walkman, a sesame bagel and cream cheese with no knife, my cigarettes, cell phone, pants and jacket soaked with the other half of my now cold cup of coffee, and a right hand that looks like I wiped a squirrel's ass with it on the way over here. It's a narrow streak of espresso that a rapper/gangsta type dude on the train kindly pointed out and then giggled to his buddy about while consistently grabbing his balls, no less.

Seriously.
It's definitely going to be a 12-pack night.